Through a Glass, Lightly
by cyberimp6
Summary: And now for something a little different: bedtime stories for Sasami.


Disclaimer: Characters and concepts from "Tenchi Muyo!" were created by Kajishima Masaki, and are Copyright AIC, Pioneer LDC, & VIZ. This work is a parody and not to be used for any commercial purposes.

**Through a Glass, Lightly**

_ "Come back! Please!" Sasami cried, and Ryo-Ohki tried to chase after the balloon._

_But Tenchi called back "I don't know how to reverse it!" and the balloon kept rising, drawn by the wind, until it was out of sight._

_Tears began to run down Sasami's cheeks. "Now I'll never get back to Kansas." She said brokenly._

_"Wait!" said Ryoko the Tin Man. "Here's someone who can help you!" She pointed, and in the distance there was a magic bubble, drawing rapidly nearer and nearer, until it set down in the middle of the square. The bubble vanished, leaving the good witch Tsunami standing and smiling at them all._

_"Can you help me get back to Kansas?" Sasami pleaded._

_"You don't need my help anymore," replied Tsunami. "You've had the power to go back all along."_

_"I have?" Sasami blinked in surprise._

_"But then why didn't you tell her before?" Ayeka the Scarecrow demanded._

_"She had to learn the way you felt about her from you yourselves." Tsunami replied. "This way, Sasami, you know you're not alone, either in Oz or in Kansas." _

"That's right, Tsunami did say something like that."

"Pipe down, Ayeka, I want to hear how it ends!"

_ "Are you ready?" asked Tsunami._

_"Yes, I'm ready." Sasami answered confidently._

_"Then close your eyes, and rub Ryo-Ohki's tummy three times, and repeat 'There's no place like home'." Tsunami directed._

_Sasami held Ryo-Ohki in the crook of her arm, and followed the good witch's instructions. "'There's no place like home . . . there's no place like home . . ." And after the third rub of Ryo-Ohki's tummy, she felt her pet lift out of her arms, and start to transform. She opened her eyes, and there above her was a handsome sailing ship, floating in mid-air. The anchor lowered down to her, and she stepped onto it and was hoisted smoothly up to the main deck. All the crowd cheered as the sails unfurled themselves, and Ryo-Ohki got underway._

_Sasami waved back to the crowd, smiling happily in the knowledge that not only was she going home, but also she would have a way to visit her new friends again._

_The End. _

"That's not the way it's supposed to end."

"Who cares? I think it's so sweet!"

"Me too!"

"Well, there is a whole series of Oz books, so Sasami -- I mean Dorothy -- does get to return to Oz. But did I have to be the Wicked Witch?"

_ Who else would be that powerful but the Greatest Scientific Genius in the Universe? _

"Can't argue with that."

"And casting Ayeka as the one without a brain was the right idea, too."

"I'd rather be brainless than heartless, 'Tin Man'!"

"I am not! But maybe I should have been the lion, instead."

"No, you're definitely not cowardly."

"See, my Tenchi knows me."

"He's not your Tenchi. But I suppose Mihoshi was the better choice--she has the closest coloring."

"Oh, but does that make me cowardly?"

_ No, of course not. Remember, all three really had the qualities they wanted all along. _

"That's true! But you know, making Tenchi the Wizard wasn't right."

_ Why is that, Sasami? _

"Because everyone thinks the Wizard is very powerful, but he's not. While most people see Tenchi as not powerful, but he is."

"Um, well . . ."

_ You have a point there, Sasami. But the wizard does have the power of making everyone else work together, and that's like Tenchi. _

"Hey, that's right!"

"I agree. That is why Lord Tenchi's destiny is on Jurai."

"And I loved having Ryo-Ohki as Toto. Oh, but now I'm too excited to go to sleep yet. Can't you at least start another story?"

"Sasami, you should really get a good night's rest."

_ I think Ayeka is right. After all, you are the hardest worker here. _

"Please? I'll make my special sake-simmered seafood medley for dinner tomorrow!"

"I vote to start another story!"

"Me, too!"

"Hear, hear!"

_ Very well --the people have spoken. But what? We've already gone through all of the children's books in the house. _

"My favorite was Sasami on Treasure Island."

"Okay, that was a good one, but why did I have to be Long Ryoko Silver?"

"After all, who better for a pirate?"

"Well, I think I would have been better as Ben Gunn. He was an ex-pirate."

_ No, you don't hunger for cheese. Mihoshi was the best for that part. _

"Mihoshi doesn't hunger for cheese either!"

_ She hungers for just about every kind of food. _

"Tee-hee! That's true!"

"Maybe we should re-do 'Sasami in Wonderland'. I'd like to be someone besides the Queen of Hearts this time."

"Oh, really, Ayeka? I think yelling 'off with their heads' is just your style."

"And I think I should be the Mad Hatter -- don't say it, Ryoko! After all, he's an inventor, rather than a layabout like the Caterpillar."

_ Actually, I have an idea for something new. How about one of the famous grown-up stories? Modified to please the present audience, of course. _

"Sounds good to me."

"You may fire when ready."

_ Ahem. Sing, Goddess, of the wrath of Mihoshi, the destructive rage that brought numberless troubles to the Greeks at Troy-- _

"Goddess? You mean Tsunami?"

"Don't interrupt, Mihoshi."

"But it's about me, and I don't understand."

"When do you understand?"

_ Now, now, Washu. Maybe it's better to start with the background first. _

"Yes, please."

_ Our tale begins in Ancient Greece, during the Age of Heroes. (Much modified: in this story it's the females who are the greatest warriors.) _

"I like it so far."

_ The tale starts with the birth of a baby boy to the Queen and King of Sparta. From the first it was clear that he would grow up to be the most handsome prince in all the world. And so they named their child Tenchi, for he seemed to be a bit of Heaven come to Earth. _

"Aww, man. . ."

"What's wrong with being the most handsome prince in the world, Tenchi?"

"I just know what's coming . . ."

_ Naturally, all the single Queens and Princesses in Greece wanted to marry Tenchi. _

"Sounds pretty realistic so far."

_ And as Tenchi grew to manhood, the argument over him threatened to become all-out war. At that time, Sparta was one of the smaller kingdoms in Greece, and the Queen and King feared their realm would be destroyed. At last, they decided to hold a great festival, where all of the contenders for Tenchi's hand would gather to compete in various contests to see if a clear winner could be found. Nearly every kingdom in Greece sent a prospective bride. Queen Seto of Mycenae, the richest and most powerful kingdom, sent her granddaughter Ayeka, who was skilled in battle and diplomacy. From Ithaca came Princess Sasami (grown up in this story), who was said to be favored by Tsunami, goddess of wisdom. Princess Mihoshi of the Myrmidons was there as well, and she was said to be invincible, for no one could predict her moves in battle, and large and heavy objects tended to fall on her opponents. Queen Misaki of Salamis, who was the physically strongest warrior in Greece, came also. And there were several other great warriors as well, and so the King and Queen of Sparta worried that war might begin then and there-- _

"Just a cotton-pickin' minute! How come I'm not in that list??"

_ Don't worry, Ryoko. You'll always have Paris. _

"Arrgh! Another sick pun and I'll get out my Punishment Hammer Mark V!"

_ You're suppressing the Freedom of the Press, Washu. _

"We're in Japan, not America, and I'll suppress what needs suppressing!"

"I would like to hear more of the story, please."

"For once, I'm with you, Ayeka. Out with it--where do I fit in?"

_ At this time, there was one other rich and powerful Kingdom, called Troy. But it was not in Greece, but across the Aegean Sea, and so it was not invited to send a potential mate for Tenchi. Queen Washu of Troy brooded over this slight, for she had a beautiful and courageous daughter named Ryoko. _

"Now we're getting somewhere!"

_ But there had been a dreadful prophecy when Ryoko was born, which said that if Ryoko stayed in Troy, she would bring about its destruction. So Queen Washu had sent her daughter to the hills some distance from Troy to be a shepherd. _

"Nuts to that!"

_ However, Ryoko, being a brave and skilled fighter, had gone to the coast and become a pirate instead. _

"Nice save."

_ Back to the festival at Sparta. It soon became clear that in the arts of war, there would be no single winner. Princess Mihoshi was the best with the sword, but Princess Ayeka excelled with the spear, and Princess Sasami was equally skilled with the bow. Queen Misaki, naturally, was unbeatable at barehanded combat. The next day there were more peaceful contests. Ayeka showed herself an expert horse rider, Sasami demonstrated superb skill at weaving, Misaki used her strength to turn out remarkable sculptures in record time, and Mihoshi drank everyone else under the table and showed no after-effects the following morning. (Which was a highly useful ability, given the way diplomacy was done in those days.) Tensions were higher than ever, and there was no clear favorite. And rumors began to go around that even if Tenchi picked one, the others would refuse to accept his choice and take him by force. _

"Why does this sound so familiar?"

"Hush, Tenchi."

_ Since Princess Sasami was considered the most clever, Tenchi asked her to come up with a plan to prevent bloodshed. After careful thought, she proposed a formal agreement among all the potential candidates that they would abide by the choice and would even vow to come to the aid of whoever married Tenchi, should anyone try to attack Sparta or kidnap Tenchi. Several of the Queens and Princesses grumbled, but Tenchi asked them sweetly and they found it impossible to refuse._

_When everyone had signed, it was announced that the choice was-- _

"Yes??"

"Yes??"

"YES??"

_ --Princess Ayeka. _

"No way!"

"Awww. . .!"

"What a wonderful story!"

_ There was, of course, some grumbling among the other candidates. Several said that Sparta was simply making an alliance with Mycenae, hoping to share in its wealth. _

"Yeah, how come Ayeka's family is always loaded?"

"It's my good karma."

_ But Princess Ayeka herself said that she and Prince Tenchi had taken shelter in a shrine to Tsunami during a brief rain-shower, and there fallen in love under the goddess' blessing. The story appealed to Queen Misaki, who said it was "cute", and Princess Mihoshi, who said she was "so moved". _

_The strained feelings of the remaining candidates evaporated when everyone was invited to the lavish wedding that Queen Seto hosted. With some catering help from Princess Sasami, the food and wine were superb. Queen Seto also wisely hired bards and poets, and the contestants were celebrated in story and song. The only unhappiness was at Troy, where Queen Washu grew ever more resentful at her realm having been left out._

_A year or so later, Tenchi's parents passed away, and since in this story the females are dominant, Ayeka became Queen of Sparta. _

"Sounds reasonable to me."

"Do I get to be a Queen too?"

_ Yes indeed. Shortly afterward, in the same way, Sasami became Queen of Ithaca. Both new Queens ruled quite successfully, especially Sasami, who had Tsunami's blessing. Princess Mihoshi's mother Queen Mitoto was still young and healthy, but Queen Seto helped Princess Mihoshi start a band of warriors to fight against the various warlords and monsters troubling the land. They welcomed talented fighters from all the kingdoms in Greece rather just the Myrmidons, and so they named their followers the Greek Paladins, or GP. _

"I'm warning you!"

"Well, Washu, that wasn't really a pun."

"But it's butchering a classic of literature!"

"It seems like a good idea to me."

_And for a brief time nearly everyone was happy -- in mainland Greece, at least. However, during this time discord had broken out in Olympus, the home of the gods. Tsunami and Tokimi each insisted that they could brew the best wine. Rapidly the other gods joined one side or the other, since all of the gods were enthusiastic wine drinkers, and soon Olympus was a house divided. After several arguments turned into fights which lit up the whole sky with lightning, it was clear that the matter needed to be settled. But none of the other gods wanted to decide against either one of the goddesses, and then have to live in Olympus with her forever. Tokimi especially was known to be spiteful, for she was the goddess of the heart._

_Happily, back in the mortal realm, Princess Ryoko had been making a great reputation for herself as a wine enthusiast. She especially liked seizing ships with cargoes of wine, and her drinking bouts up and down the ports of the Mediterranean were famous. However, she didn't just drink anything she could get her hands on, having been known to burn taverns to the ground for serving her low-grade wine. _

"Okay, this story has some good points."

_ And so, it was decided to ask Ryoko to judge between the two goddess' brews. _

"Wasn't the judgement supposed to be which goddess was the most beautiful?"

_ Can you really see Ryoko declaring anyone but herself to be the most beautiful? _

"Ah . . . good point."

_ Ryoko's experiences as a pirate had taught her caution, so when she heard the request of the gods, she asked that both goddesses swear not to harm her whichever way she should decide. Tsunami and Tokimi did so, but when it was Tokimi's turn, she whispered to Ryoko, "I will not do you any injury if you judge in favor of Tsunami, but if you judge in my favor, I will reward you greatly. The handsomest man in the world shall be yours."_

_Ryoko decided to accept. First, however, she spent an entire evening tasting both of the goddesses' creations. The next morning, when she had mostly recovered from her hangover, she announced that Tokimi was the winner. Since Tsunami was the goddess of wisdom, it didn't take her long to figure out that Ryoko had been bribed. And since she was also a goddess of justice, she declared that the cheating would not go unpunished. Although her oath prevented her from attacking Ryoko directly, she pledged that whatever Tokimi had promised would lead to woe and ruin. But Tokimi urged Ryoko to be bold, for love could prevail even over logic._

_Tokimi proceeded to influence Queen Washu to hold a festival of her own. Washu pointedly declared that no one would be excluded, and sent invitations to all the kingdoms both in Greece and Asia Minor. Alas, to her disappointment, not many responded, for Queen Washu was also a sorceress, and there were rumors that she would occasionally take unwary visitors down to the lower chambers of her palace and test her spells on them. _

"You're really pushing it!"

"What's the matter, Washu? Too realistic for you?"

"Realistic my eye! King Priam never--"

"Oh, please don't squabble! I want to hear more of the story."

_ Of the major Greek kingdoms, only Queen Ayeka made the voyage to Troy, saying that it was important to show courtesy. However, she was cautious enough to ask Prince Tenchi to stay in Sparta, and since Tenchi had heard the rumors about Queen Washu, he was happy to oblige. _

"Hah! I think it was actually because he needed a break from Juraian Bridegroom Training!"

"Lady Washu, I have asked you not to--"

"But what's 'Juraian Bridegroom Training'?"

"Ummm . . . "

_ Never mind. Our story is about ancient Greece, not Jurai. _

"(whew)"

_ Someone else who made an appearance was Princess Ryoko. The soothsayer Azusa reminded Queen Washu of the dark prophecy of the destruction of Troy, but as always, no one paid attention to him. _

"Poor Father . . ."

_ Ryoko had been hoping to meet Prince Tenchi, but Queen Ayeka explained that she had not wanted to take the risk, given the vicious pirates known to prowl the sea at that time. And the two women detested each other from that moment. However, not missing the opportunity to show off her consort's good looks, Ayeka had brought one of Misaki's statues of him, and one of Sasami's tapestries as well, as gifts to Troy. _

"Sounds like Ayeka's style, all right."

"But why not? I wouldn't mind gifts like that."

_ A fair question, Mihoshi. As it happened, it might well have been wiser to leave the gifts behind, for when Princess Ryoko gazed upon the face and figure of the man Tokimi had promised to her, the last of her hesitations fell away, and she silently vowed to have Tenchi, whatever it might take to accomplish. _

"I see we're back to Pompous Narrator mode."

_ I'm trying to do justice to what you yourself said is a classic of literature. _

"That train left the station when you reversed the genders."

_ Oh, I suppose. Anyway, the next day the contests began. Queen Washu had another daughter, Princess Minagi, who hadn't been eligible for Tenchi because she was already married to an expert sword-smith named Yakage. Minagi was triumphant in the fencing matches, and Ayeka again won the spear-throwing event. But the star of the day was clearly Ryoko. She was a master with bow and arrow, showed such speed in the foot-races that some of the spectators exclaimed that she must be flying, and emerged victorious at wrestling after an epic match with Ayeka that nearly destroyed the ring. _

"I'll just bet!"

_ At the banquet that evening, Queen Washu toasted her younger daughter's triumphs, and tearfully welcomed her back to Troy. Then Tokimi filled Minagi's heart with jealousy, for the elder princess had thought that Ryoko would only be there during the time of the festival, and not to stay. Also, her mother had failed to mention her own victories that day. And so Minagi suggested that, if Ryoko was to be fully recognized as a princess of Troy, she could take on some of the diplomatic duties, such as paying state visits to the other kingdoms._

_Tokimi had prepared Ryoko for just such a suggestion, and she turned to Queen Ayeka and asked if she might start with a visit to Sparta, to return the courtesy of Ayeka's visit. As much as she secretly loathed the idea, Ayeka had little choice but to extend the invitation with a polite face. Happy about beginning to be recognized by the Greek kingdoms at last, Washu gave orders for the finest ship and the best-trained crew in Troy to be prepared to carry Ryoko to Sparta. _

"And that ship is Ryo-Ohki, right?"

_ No. Ryo-Ohki won't show up until the chapter of The Trojan Cabbit. _

"You call that 'doing justice'??"

"I think it's a good role for Ryo-Ohki. And Ryoko's role suited her very well, too."

"Wouldn't it be something if she actually had an ancestor back then?"

"But Mihoshi, she couldn't. The Trojan War was only about thirty-two hundred years ago. Ryoko is over a thousand years older than that."

"Will you shut up about my age, Ayeka?"

"Come to think of it, didn't Kagato tell you to – obtain – an artifact of gold wires woven in the shape of a sheep's skin? A fleece?"

"Yeah, he did, and that one took me quite some time. When I got to where it was being kept, someone else had already taken it, and I spent years tracking it down. But that was another low-tech planet, not this one."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. The warriors didn't use samurai swords and splint armor, but short straight swords and bronze armor instead."

"And big funny-looking helmets?"

"That's right. Big helmets with crests on top, made . . . of . . . horsehair . . . ohboy."

The End

Author's notes: Putting the Tenchi Muyo cast in alternate stories isn't really such a stretch. As I pointed out in "Tree and Infancy", several of the Tenchi Muyo characters are themselves adapted from characters in classic Japanese and Chinese stories. I can't claim credit for "Wonderland": there actually is a publicity image of Sasami in Wonderland, with Ryoko as the Cheshire Cat, Washu as the Caterpillar, Ayeka as the Queen of Hearts, and so on. (Alas, Katsuhito, Nobuyuki, and Tenchi are all just playing cards.) However, the castings in the other stories are my ideas.


End file.
